FARMER-CRIMINAL NEXUS EXPOSED IN BIHAR

FARMER-CRIMINAL NEXUS EXPOSED IN BIHAR

18-JULY-ENG 12

RAJIV NAYAN AGRAWAL

PATNA------------------------A sensational disclosure has been made from the Bihar Police Headquarters today which has changed the science of crime! Additional Director General of Police (ADG) Kundan Krishnan has made this revelation on the basis of his deep research and experience that murders in Bihar are directly related to our food providers, i.e. farmers. Yes, you heard it right! The crime that we have been linking to poverty, unemployment or social tension for decades is actually the result of ‘no farming’.

ADG sahab told reporters on Thursday that murders increase in the months of April, May and June because “farmers do not have work these days”. He says that as soon as the rains come and the farmers get involved in agricultural work, “incidents reduce”. That is, if you want to reduce crime in Bihar, just increase the work in the fields! Perhaps the government will now replace 'MGNREGA' with 'Kheti Karo, Crime Mitaao' scheme.

This new theory has stunned the opposition and farmer organizations. An opposition leader quipped, "Wow! What a theory! Till now we thought that police, law and order and better administration are needed to stop crime. But ADG sahab has told that just give plough to the farmers, crime will end! It seems that Bihar Police will now patrol the fields to see whether any farmer is sitting 'idle' and may commit murder."

At the same time, farmer organizations are now considering whether they should change the name of their movement to 'Give us work, otherwise we will murder'. A farmer leader quipped, “We have been demanding MSP from the government for years, demanding irrigation, we thought this will eliminate poverty. But now ADG sahab told us that we should have avoided ‘murder’ in our free time. Now it seems that if we sit idle, the government will send us straight to jail!”

This research by ADG Krishnan has stunned sociologists, psychologists and even forensic experts. While studies were being done on the socio-economic reasons behind crime for centuries, Bihar Police has added a new chapter: ‘agricultural-criminal link’. It is possible that now topics like ‘effect of crop cycle on crime rate’ will also be included in the police curriculum.

Now it remains to be seen when the Bihar government includes this revolutionary theory in its official policy. Who knows, if the crime rate decreases next year, the credit for it will be given directly to the monsoon and the hard work of the farmers. Till then, Biharis, be careful! If you see a farmer sitting idle, immediately suggest him some work, it will be national service!